2 down, 3 to go!

I just paid off two bills that I thought I’d never get paid! That is…. until today! I have successfully gotten rid of two of five bills. Three to go ($12,000) and I will be debt free!

One hospital bill, two credit cards, a school loan, and school fees are the cause of 99.9% of my stress. Once they are gone, I will begin saving for traveling and just life in-general! I cannot wait. Freedom from debt could be one year or less away!


I just educated a 63 year old black man about Black History Month and why black history “got the shortest month”. He was upset that Black History Month was in the month of February. In fact, I’ve heard many people say that!  They don’t seem to know American history.  

Created in 1926, it was originally one week chosen because it marked the birthdays of both Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Douglass.  If you don’t know who they are, please look them up.

Carter G. Woodson created the holiday with the hope that it would eventually be eliminated when black history became fundamental to American history.


Sometimes, an outside perspective is a helpful one. 

The transit system around here is getting a lot of flack for not being as reliable as the public transportation from every other big city.  With their delayed and missed stop times, lack of security, and unevenly distributed stations, I think there could be a little room for resource redistribution.

I understand delays because of the handicapped, traffic, people jumping in front of trains, etc.  I also realize they have expanded and are now in the process of expanding even further; but a little punctuality would be nice.  

Maybe one day, MTA will fix this crazy system.  One bus per hour in some areas is a little ridiculous when there are so many people waiting.  Overcrowded, unseated travel is unsafe.  Seated travel could be safer travel.


I wonder if you can be slapped with a copyright warning on a song on YouTube if you aren’t getting any money off of it and you are mentioning said song in your description.  I guess we’ll find out.  I might have to re-upload my stuff if that happens.  I might just have to upload everything on Tumblr!  Maybe I’ll do that anyway.  


Being creative

Finding time to show my creative side has been a real hassle lately.  Because my job is very by the book and very uncreative, I find myself daydreaming most days.  I know I should be happy that I’ve finally found a job; but when am I going to find time in my working career that really helps me shine and make a mark on this world?  

I’ve talked of opening a business; but with all the financial issues, it seems very difficult to get things started.  Entrepreneurship is also a very unsure and difficult thing.  I know that the best things in life are usually very difficult to obtain and it seems the best way to have pride in something.  I guess pushing forward until I get what I need is the only way to do it.  Have no fear, Josh.  Just do it.  If things don’t work out, try something else.


Hackers suck!

My tumblr account was hacked about an hour or so ago. I really despise these assholes who think its a good thing to get onto someone’s account and do whatever. This time, they posted an ad for surveys. Luckily, I caught the hack before any damage was done to my journal. Drafts and all could have been deleted or changed. So, fuck you very much hackers. I had to change my password and delete your shit.


A trail of snails.

I always feel the worst when I step on a snail.  Maybe it’s the crunching sound and feeling that makes me think of the initial cracking of cartilage when performing CPR on a coding patient.  It also could be the fact that snails are creatures that do not invade your home and since I don’t have a garden, they don’t invade that either.  A slow moving creature, that we could easily avoid if they weren’t in transit during the low-light hours of the day, if they didn’t hide under piles of leaves to hold their moisture, and also wouldn’t break so easily when we step on them.  I guess it’s not their fault that they came in last in the evolutionary race…..or…. did they?  


Out and About

A person will, more times that not, find something that will satisfy them until the day they find what they really need.  You think of your family.  You were raised by and with these people, love these people, and couldn’t imagine being without them.  You realize one day that you’ve grown as much as you think you can with them, for now.  You get the itch, the urge to broaden your horizons.  That overwhelming feeling that you could do more.  You feel, now, the only way to get what you need is to get … out, on your own, without the feeling that your origins are watching you.  You want to test yourself, see if life leads you back to where you were, or, if it leads you elsewhere.  Life is all about experiences and the feelings that ensue.  You’ll never know unless you try.  

You’d never really been exposed to other cultures minus what you’ve seen on television.  You didn’t want to get stuck with the limitation that local television offered, so, you place a pen, point down on a map, on your hometown, close your eyes, and draw a spiral on a map.  The very last spot that spiral hits is where your journey will begin.  

Well, I suppose your journey actually begins in your hometown.  You say goodbye to your family, friends, girlfriend, and the neighbors that never really knew you but know your parents and feel obligated to send you off.  They all want to know your plans; and when you tell them, “I have none”, they want to pray over you like you’ve just been placed six feet under.  They’ve never experienced the world the way you’re going to.  They somehow skipped that part in their lives.  

The thing is, you were brought up just the same as your parents and grandparents.  Your family wasn’t restricted to conservative, bible-thumping thought.  In their younger years, they were actually very independent and creative thinkers.  There were college graduates, artists, musicians, businessmen, authors, lawyers, doctors, and military men.  How is it they, of all people, didn’t fulfill the urge to just go?  You’ve known them their entire lives and they’ve never spoken of their younger years, minus the occasional “back in my day” and the rant that followed.  Maybe they remember the time they got in trouble for drinking on school grounds; but the teacher who caught them just took a swig and walked on.

You know that the military veterans in your family have traveled; but it was, more likely, they didn’t want to go.  They were part of the draft.  The government told them where to go.  You know that wouldn’t be a good route for you.  At this point in your life, you’ve seen your friends go to the military and get shipped off.  Though, they weren’t drafted.  They chose this for themselves and, hey, maybe it’ll work out for them.  You weren’t really considered a free spirit; but you certainly feel the need to get away from the routine of your upbringing.  Doing the daily chores is necessary to keep a clean home; but sometimes, you just want to let things pile up, so, when you do clean, you are ten times more satisfied.

Don’t worry.  If you feel things aren’t adding up in your life, you have every right to find what makes you happy.  Though some may be skeptical, your family will be there for you when you get back.  They sent you off because they care for your well-being.  Wherever you go or whatever you do, they just want you to be happy. 


I won’t accept the answer, “just ‘cause”, from anyone. Give me something to work with. Give me an answer that explains why you feel the way you feel. If you don’t like a person due to a scar on their face, just say it. If you don’t like your new tile job because the tile is too shiny….say it! You answer like a child, I’ll treat you like one.


I’ve been in Long Beach since late night on September 1st.  I’ve been searching for jobs since May.  I’ve applied for many available positions; but no one has called me back.  I’ve even applied for jobs that have a high turnover, crappy jobs that no one wants, and posted for clients on craigslist.  Who do I have to screw to get a job around here?  

I’ve been here for nearly two weeks and I’m running out of time before I put myself even further in debt.  I know some people say that you should have at least a solid lead before you move; but this seemed like the more logical approach.  Show people you are already there and they might actually consider you.  

This is why I wish I had my own business.  I’d have a job if I were self-employed.  Maybe the universe is telling me, “Just do it!  Get busy on your projects and ideas!  Don’t be such a pansy about it”!  

I just saw a place for lease down the street.  It’s the perfect size for a small venue and beverage center.  It looks like it has a loft and everything.  While I’m applying for jobs, I guess I could work on a proposal.  

The biggest issue is money.  Well, the base issue is the fear of failure.  If I fail, I lose money and put myself in more debt.  If I succeed, I get a career out of it and hopefully a way out of debt.  

More research is required on my part.  

To be continued…         


Going home

I’d always thought that home was where you grew up or where you worked or where your family was. That’s not it. Home is the place you think of every day you’re away. You long to be there and you occasionally compare things you see or find to things there. Roads look similar to the places you used to drive because you want them to. “Those mountains look so much like my mountains! If only there weren’t so many trees!”. That’s something I’ve said many times, wanting so desperately for my home and my family’s home to merge so I could have everything I want together.

I leave Sunday, August 26, 2012 for another drive across the country to make it home. Goodbye, Tennessee! Don’t wait up for me. I’ll come back to visit sometime.


This the fifth day of V.E.D.A. or Vlog Every Day in August (or April).  It occurs twice per year (on the “A” months, obviously).  I’ve found that I do not speak in the same style that I write.  I sound much better when I’m not speaking; but I’m going to continue video blogging because I want to look back 20 years from now and see who I was.  I wish I’d started doing this at an earlier age.  Video blogging or journaling is very beneficial.  It teaches you to become a better speaker.  You judge yourself more harshly than others will judge you.  If you never talk in front of a camera or mirror, how are you supposed to know what sort of weird tics or habits you have whilst speaking?  That’s not all.  A recording of your voice sounds differently than how you hear yourself while speaking.  You might express less emotion than you thought you did.  I do.  I thought the emotion was well expressed when I talk; but then I looked at the video.  I was wrong.  I always look tired, I sound almost monotone, and unexcited about everything.  I feel the emotion; but I don’t show it.  I guess it’s time to work on that!

So, I still have lots to work on; but I know I’ll get better at this.   



Today is the day I find out when I’m leaving for California.  I have two dates to choose from:  August 14 and August 28.  My job options are many out there.  I feel like I can go back to being a EMT for a while.  

It’s been almost a year since I’ve worked as a EMT; but I haven’t let the knowledge fade away.  I often test myself.  I currently work as a lifeguard.  So, we have to remember many things.  I also look up new and interesting medical information to stay refreshed.  If I go back to being a EMT, I know there’s a chance that I will burn out, once again; but hopefully that won’t happen.  I need to put it in the back of my mind because this is possibly my only option for now.  

What I would love to do, eventually, is open a coffee shop venue with a hostel.  I could see much success in that.  Especially in the LA area.  Doesn’t hurt to brainstorm and put time into plans.  Planning is fun and free.


If I began a statement with, “studies have shown” or “research has told us”, how many people would take the time (if you consider that a time consuming thing) to google it? It takes about 5 seconds or less to type (most) subject matter into the google search bar and only a little more time to find a credible source. Yet, it seems that people only regurgitate bullshit. I know sometimes we can’t find the answers we need; but that’s no excuse to just repeat what you’ve heard, in total belief, and no evidence to back your statements.

Where should critical thinking, evidence, and the powers of deduction be used? Everywhere, and in every situation.

And what the Hell do you mean that magnets on our wrists can re-align our ions? Don’t fuck with my ions! They’re just fine!

By the way, research has shown ……



When a personal trainer has a client, don’t interrupt them to give them “words of advice” unless they’re putting their client in danger.  

Today, a woman, who swims at our gym regularly, did just that.  She stopped me, while my client is in the water and his mother is on the pool deck, to give me “friendly advice”.  It’s rude to stop a trainer in their tracks.  Especially if there are observers.  Even if the advice is good, it’s still rude.  If I wasn’t such a nice guy, I would slap you right in the mouth.  So, mind your own business, please.

I would never have been mean to the woman in question.  There’s only one way to deal with her in front of clients, which is to listen to her.  No one wants a hothead trainer.  I dealt with her calmly and politely.      

Just a side note:  I would be less pissed off (and more apt to heed your words) if you wait until after my PRIVATE lesson to demonstrate a technique that’s helped you visualize a particular stroke in swimming.  

Also, believe it or not, I know what I’m doing.  I may not know everything; but I’m certainly not going to teach something without having knowledge about that subject (i.e. swimming).  They’re paying me, NOT YOU, to teach them.  

#rudesauce #training